March 2010
1 post
February 2010
5 posts
It's root.
Yesterday, Jerry went to work.
He had kissed his wife twice as he shuffled out the door. The first said “Good morning” and the second, although only a half-second later, said “Goodbye.” Jerry had learned, or told himself, that this marital conciseness didn’t represent a waning of passion, only a waxing of practicality, upon which he felt a small amount of...
“I feel like happiness is Shaquille O’Neal and I’m Ben Stein. I hadn’t really...”
God, if you can hear,
can you help me and my friends?
We’re all real fucked up.
“I’m not looking for a wife, but I wouldn’t mind finding someone to share a...”
January 2010
21 posts
Haiku for Fuck-ups.
Oh, I’m not hungry.
I’ve gotten quite full just by
eating my own words.
Damn.
I think today I’ve had more conversations about the Flop than any day since it closed. Lots of “What happened”s and “What are you doing now” and things like that.
In the library, a kid brought it up. He said he’d heard we were paying off our student loans with the profits. I told him that was the opposite of anything true, that we almost had to take out...
Keeping it alive.
Tonight, while avoiding work, deadlines, and responsibility, I browsed the internet for any remaining traces of an unforgettable endeavor between my brother and I, The Tag Rope. A short-lived blog about professional wrestling’s impact on society, it’s been all but erased from the annals of cyberosity. Among the writings still intact is what will likely be my closest interaction with...
Continued....
The mistake was that our relationship ended. I’m not saying it wasn’t the right thing, but it was still wrong.
The mistake was that I kissed her. Although my head was well aware of the consequences, my heart had no idea what it was in for.
And the mistake is that in the original Hellraiser movie the bad guys are called Cennobites. All I can wonder is why they’re not in a...
A Mistake Was Made.
“Parlborlo.”
This is what must have come out of my mouth, when I told the gas station attendant I wanted Pall Malls and he handed me Marlboros. I didn’t correct his mistake, I must have been too busy wondering about his hearing deficiencies, as he was also probably occupied thinking about my speech impediment.
The man behind the counter was tan as leather. His hair was a...
Good Lord, What Country is This? (Ode to a Yoshi...
When we were seconds away, the four of us in a line, watching it unfold, I prayed. Three men in shirts and ties and one stunning woman, out of place and at least one was praying. “God, I’ve had a lot going on. I feel alone most days and I hate to sleep all alone. Sometimes I wonder if I can do anything anymore without fucking it all up. God, right now, I’m not asking for anything...
Brett wrote this for me.
too late to die because scorpions that sting have already put me in hell. The antichrist has already marked my hand and a perversion of humanity where is my christ, is he really still dead. resurection a fib. No longer am I scared because I love a Woman.
I wrote this for Brett.
Whenever people ask me where I’m going or where I’ve been, I usually don’t respond and hold up a mirror instead. Then they just walk away and, wondering what went wrong, I turn the mirror around and slowly, sadly realize it was always only a picture of myself.
I can’t ride a bike.
I'm going to sleep now.
It’s 6:11 am and I’m going to sleep. I’ve been awake for almost exactly 36 hours. I’m going to sleep now, after spending many hours laughing and hugging new friends and old friends. This moment, me going to sleep, after interacting with humans, at an hour when other people I know are falling asleep, is monumental.
This is the end of a terrible series of days. ...
Thoughts on my relationship with Google.
Entirely...
December 2009
17 posts
Watch the Skyline for me.
Frozen spaghetti and chili Subzero block of sustenance, 3am commercial break from reading and smoking, Homecooked by a machine in Rochester that will never know my name. I dreamt of falling asleep next to a girl and doing horribly wonderful things to her, things that make Christians blush. Instead I fell asleep with frozen spaghetti and chili. You win some, you lose some.
“Taking Down the Tree” Low.
Sleep.
Some nights, I embrace Sleep. I relish in it, my escape. I change into sleepclothes and prepare the blankets and brush my teeth and turn off the lights and all these things that signify the end of the day. And in my sleepclothes I submit entirely and declare the night my victor. On these nights, my gradual descent into unconsciousness is welcomed and applauded.
Other nights, nights not much...
In this winter there will be none saved.
I hate the cold.
I loathe it. I abhor it. And although the is no person or no thing I take more pride in than my home state, a stiff winter wind makes me want to abandon Indiana like a battered lover leaving in the night. I look at descending mercury and see only abuse: torn skin, tearing eyes, desperate cries for relief from an aggressor so ubiquitous and unrelenting that it shakes me to my...
These moments are events in my life... →
Boneless Chicken Meal
A man at a bar offered me a pickled egg from a jar. He wasn’t an employee, and there wasn’t a menu.
They danced like dissected eyeballs in obsidian liquid, without identification or purpose and I told him that I’d never tried pickled eggs but I wouldn’t turn down free food.
I fished futilely for the oblong spheres in their dark, encompassing sea of brine, remarking that...
And what we once were is gone.
And what we once were is gone. Distant memories they end up now Trickling steadily through holes we never saw; After embarking with handfuls of hope and preparation, We can grasp now only at single grains; Yes, we have pictures but they are flat, Yes, we have words but they are no longer our own; Yes, they are here but we are not. And what we once were is gone.
And what we once were is gone....
Pomplamoose - Mrs. Robinson
We are all marks.
We are all marks.
We deny it. We say that we are thinking people, that, at the end of the day, we let our brain win and we know what is true and what is not. We tell ourselves, and each other, that we are completely in control of ourselves and that no one’s going to pull the wool over our eyes. Not today.
We are arrogant. We say that we are too smart for tricks, too mature for games. ...
Clarity
I cannot write with clarity right now. No, clarity has left town for a while. She’s visiting somewhere far away from here, someone’s who’s in a position far from mine.
But I can write about the simple things. Standing on the radiator to warm your feet up at night. Drinking Coca-Cola and smoking cigarettes. Standing in your room and thinking “I just might clean...
That Guy Sure As Goddamn Hell Doesn't Know Anyone...
I helped a man named Steve McKinney With his groceries outside Pay Less. He was in a motorized wheel chair And told me he weighed two-eighty. He didn’t. I’m a professional chef and I’ve worked with the past three presidents And Oprah is coming to do a special with me And I’ve got a couple cookbooks on the way, he said. That’s exciting, I said. Thank you. I drove away and it all Sunk in, a kid’s...
November 2009
13 posts
I Open My Mouth and It's Full of Blood
None of them work anymore, I said, the lies we tell,
The shit we smoke, the stuff we drink,
None of them work anymore, I said, all the money we
spend, all the girls we fuck, all the nights we
wake, all the days we sleep,
none of them work anymore,
none of them do much of anything now,
every lie we tell,
to ourselves and to them,
and we call it relationship,
and it’s this shit that...
Listen
“Blessed are the forgetful, for they get the best even of their blunders.”
– Friedrich Nietzsche
What We've Become is Not What We Once Were
I restate the question, I restate what might be the last words we ever exchange, our words which seemed once electric, and I challenge truth, I think anyone who had what we did or laughed like that could never end up in such shit like this, and i restate that last dangling question, the words leaving my mouth like a car in reverse, lurching, unsure, but the words are stale now, and I recall...
“Sometimes you sleep in your clothes because getting undressed before bed makes...”